politics

I feel like I've had a pretty balanced exposure to politics. My dad is a die-hard conservative. Fox News has been a frequented channel in my house. (I just admitted that online. I know, I know...) BUT I grew up in a liberal state, a very liberal one at that. Any history or current event class throughout my schooling was always shaded blue. I didn't really care because I think it's important to hear and synthesize both sides.

College was the ultimate test of independence and finding out where I stood on each issue. Am I an elephant or a donkey? (I could have substituted another word there. Can I just say that is the worst party mascot ever? Did no one have the foresight to see that would be a bad choice?)

Well, when all is said and done, I am an Independent. At least that's how I registered. I always thought being moderate just meant you were a fence-sitter, but for me it just means I cross party lines with every issue.

I would call myself a fiscal conservative. I believe in safety nets, but I don't believe in hand-outs. I think everyone should pay some kind of tax. (If I hear the phrase 'fair share' one more time, I'm going to pull my hair out.) I believe in working hard and this thing called self-reliance. I favor small government.

BUT being conservative doesn't mean I'm close-minded or uber-traditionalist. I'm a vegetarian; I try to protect the environment; I don't think Planned Parenthood is a society of baby killers; I think stem cell research is wicked awesome; I believe in equality for all ethnicities and sexual orientations; don't even get me started on "Don't ask, don't tell." It's ridiculous. To say it's obsolete would even be incorrect because that would imply that it had some use at one time. And it didn't. (I know it has been repealed, but I've heard things about republicans trying to undo the progress made or something to that effect, which is a waste of time...)

I digress.

Anyway, I think people should think about every issue independently of their affiliated parties. I'm kind of sad that I'll miss the political storm of November 2012 because it seems like it will be an intense one. However, I will be living the devoted life in Canada, which I think will be much more meaningful. :)

what i've learned in 22 years

There exists a black hole.

This black hole collects socks, hair ties, bobby pins, pencils with the erasers still on them, and...

tupperware lids.

Finding a lid that fits on a certain container has been the bane of my college existence and my recent living-at-home existence.

If I find one more mismatched lid/container, I'm going to..................I don't know yet, but probably lash out drastically--at the tupperware.

(P.S. I realize that tupperware is really just a brand name and not the official name for plastic containers. Thus it should be capitalized, but I'm not actually referring necessarily to actual Tupperware. Hence, I'm not going to capitalize it. This is kind of how people use the word kleenex to refer to a any tissue. Props to the brilliant marketing team who brainwashed everyone into thinking they are the same.)

Classy Bonney Lake

[This one goes out to all the skeezies in Bonney Lake.]

Dear men that make me feel awkward,

If you try to get my attention, and I give you this face:

It means I don't want to send any positive reinforcement--no matter how much you honk or stare.

Thought you ought to know.

Not-So-Warm Regards,

Tanya

fml

I think I had some pent up bad karma against me today.

As I was leaving the gym today, my car died right as I pulled out onto Hwy 410. (This is about 4.5 miles from my house.) I sat there crying for a second; then I called my working mom in a panic and realized the worst thing about having no friends in Bonney Lake: no one can help you when your POS car from high school breaks down.

Fortunately, I was right by a Jiffy Lube, and a worker helped me push my car into the parking lot. (So you should all support your local Jiffy Lube!) Unfortunately I was a sweaty, haggard mess. I don't like asking people for help. At all. If I had been looking really cute, I would have felt slightly less guilty about asking for help. I feel like men would feel a little happier about pushing a car for a cute girl rather than a gross-face. That's just my theory though.

Anyway during this time, I realized that I was in desperate need for an accelerated course in Cars 101. I was steering my car while the worker pushed, and I may have run into a hedge, a curb, and another hedge along the way. "Yeah when your car doesn't work, your power steering and brakes don't work either," the worker said. And with my lack of good looks, I couldn't even play the dumb-but-pretty card that would make this lack of knowledge forgivable.

So we got the car parked. Finally. Then I had to run/walk/limp the whole way home. I had already worked out for the day, so having to add another 4 miles? Death.

Then some skeezy guy was trying to get my attention as I waited at a light. Bleh.

And then while I was running on a road lacking in sidewalk or shoulder, someone yelled at me something to the effect of, "Bitch, get out of the road!"

Wow, thanks.

Some days are just like that, I guess...even in Australia.

restless

Dear future husband and/or cat,

I'm a tosser-turner at night. I don't kick people per se, and I don't hog the bed; I can even share a twin bed comfortably, but I stir a lot in my sleep. I stir so much that my fitted sheets routinely come off the bed. I end up sleeping on a bare mattress most nights because I'm too lazy to redo the fitted sheet everyday. (Putting on a fitted sheet can be quite frustrating with one person.) I imagine with two people, redoing the fitted sheet won't be such a hassle, so maybe this won't be such a problem. However, if you are a cat, you will be of no help, so the bed will probably remain sheet-less.

I hope a disheveled bed isn't too much of a deal breaker. What I lack in bed aesthetics, I make up for in superb spooning skills. Just so you know.

Love,

Tanya

one time...

There is a particular breed of boy in the world. You probably have come across him once or twice. On facebook you can recognize him as the boy who has:

--way too many shirtless pictures

-- a pseudo-modeling profile picture

-- a lot of pictures in close body contact with girls out of his league

-- an obsession with his form of transportation

or any other similar narcissistic behavior...

I went out with one of these boys once. He was a bit too handsy for my taste. (My taste= Don't touch me unless I have given you the proverbial green light. I hate touchy-feely flirters.) After I had had enough invasion of personal space for one night, I had him take me home. He took the long way because he probably thought I longed to have a few more adoring minutes with him.

Needless to say, I didn't see him again.

gotta get down on friday

I have to preface this by saying that ever since I was 13, I babysat for the same family, the Lears. I'm pretty much the world's greatest babysitter in their eyes. It's probably the one thing in life that I can say I was the best at with confidence. Eventually I went to college, but I'm still really close with that family--like they took me on vacation with them once to Washington D.C., and I go to their grandparents' house, and we hang out whenever I'm back in Bonney Lake...typical babysitter-employer relationship stuff. This really has nothing to do with my story except that you know who they are and why I hang out with middle-aged adults.

Anyway, last night I was renting an Xbox game for their four kids and letting them borrow our Xbox. Now that my brother is gone to college, no one is going to touch that thing.

So I'm at Blockbuster, and I was having a little trouble getting my debit card to work, figuring out if I had an active account, etc., which led to me actually having a conversation the the worker because of the waiting. He was very pleasant, considering he had to work a Friday night. He looked at the game I was getting, and said, "You're gonna love this game; it's so good." Blah blah blah. Then I said, "Actually it's for these kids that I'm babysitting." Then he said, "Oh so you're not a gamer then?"

I felt my attractiveness go down a hundred points. "Uh....no?"

Call me vain, but sometimes I like being liked by everybody--even the gamers.

feminine

I hate shaving my legs. I think I've said that before.

The great thing about going to Canada is that I will be wearing multiple layers of tights/leggings/thermals every day. And do you know what that means???

I don't have to shave my legs for 18 months!!!!!!

I know you all are sufficiently grossed out now, but let me point out that society has made you that way. (And you thought you were a free thinker...) Who decided that being hairless was feminine? I would really like to go back in time and dispose of that person; however, we all know that didn't work for Katherine Heigl in that one Twilight Zone episode with baby Hitler...

I'm too lazy to start a social revolution, so I will remain being the awkward girl with hairy legs all by myself. BUT--

To all the males who may court me in the future:

If you notice that my legs are shaved frequently, know that I'm putting forth my best effort to attract you.

Para que sepan.

A word about cats...

I posted on facebook a quote from a Youtube video saying, "I love cats. I love every kind of cat." Most people just thought this was a joke, but there was actually a tiny element of truth to it.

I used to be a cat-hater like most people out there. Let's face it. Cats are lazy, unresponsive, non-interactive, disobedient, and selfish. But they are also CRAZY, and that's why I like them.

I was house-sitting a week ago with a dog and a cat. When it got really late, the cat would run around and jump over things like it was the cat Olympics or something.

I think I like cats because they remind me of myself. They are pretty mellow most of the time, but they have this inexplicable feisty side. In cats, this is very entertaining when you are by yourself.

So I made the decision that I will definitely be a spinster with a cat (and a dog) someday. Can't wait.

Lately

Happy September 11th!! Oh wait...

I couldn't resist that joke because everyone was such a downer on facebook. If you didn't know, sometimes I have inappropriate responses to things.

-One time I laughed when a drunk person broke down crying about her life. (Even the non-sober people knew this was out of line.)

- I generally laugh when people get physically hurt.

- I giggled through a breast examination.

- And I cried during an animated movie.

So I have some mis-wirings. I don't thing September 11th is at all funny, but sometimes I joke about serious things. That's all.

I know you think I hate the troops now, but that's not true. I love our military. I love our country. I love democracy. I love freedom. I love our constitution. I don't love war, but I respect that people are willing to risk their lives while defending the BEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!!! (How's that for nationalist?)

I've said this before, but I don't think our country is flawless by any means. I believe in change, but I also believe in a lot of the core values this country was founded on. Basically, I believe in striving to be our best. That's why we vote!

Why I hope I don't end up alone

If you were worried about my last blog post, don't worry! I'm alive!

I have been house-sitting with a dog and cat for the weekend. I feel like a super adult because I like to pretend that it's just me living permanently in this grown-up house. I like cleaning (what?) because every mess is mine, so I don't feel like it's a pointless endeavor.

Anyway, I feel like I have definitely gotten a glimpse at what life would be like if I was an older, single woman. This is what Sex and the City doesn't tell you. It's kind of boring living by yourself especially if you don't have 3 other single friends and a Mr. Big or some other romantic encounter to rendezvous with. I bet you they just cut out the scenes of Carrie playing Scrabble by herself or hitting up Netflix or reading everything she gets her hands on or incessantly obsessing over sudoku puzzles...because that doesn't make for a very interesting show.

Case in point: After being by myself for a night, I started talking to myself or attempting conversations with the cat. Except the conversations with the cat are involuntarily in a baby voice. I don't know why.

I'm not ashamed to say that I really want a family some day--if anything, for my mental health. I don't think that makes me anti-feminist. I definitely believe you can (and should) be happy and single, but I'll be the first to admit that relationships are a lot more enriching.

I guess the point of this post is to say, that I do enjoy being in solitude sometimes, but I would rather have it be spaced out between long periods of being with other people (or person) that I love.

That's all.

my dying breath

Dear Blog Readers,

I am probably going to die tomorrow. And my last piece of advice would be this:

Don't make muffins from a really old muffin mix!

Did I do this? Yes. Did I know how old it was? No. But did I know that it was probably ridiculously old--like something my grandma would have in her house? Yes. Did I make them anyway? Yes. Did they taste really weird? Yes. Did I eat three anyway in hopes that each one was a fluke? Yes. Do I have a problem? Yes. Does my stomach look like this now--> ":( "? Yes. Am I worried for my life? Yes.

So if the muffins reek further havoc upon my body, and I don't wake up in the morning. Please know, that from my mom to the random stalkers, I love you all.