In the daylight I don't pick up my phone...

because in the daylight anywhere feels like home... (Great song by Matt and Kim)

I don't answer my phone very often. I have just realized this.

I'm also not very good at texting people back. I know it's really easy, but here is what happens:

I will be OCD about carrying my phone on me and I will get no incoming anything. Then I forget about my phone and I'll get like 5 texts like that. It's annoying, but not too annoying because I do love a good dose of irony, so it's okay.

I'm also not very good at texting lingo. I feel like I use too many smiley faces unneccesarily only because words sound so dry when I text them--especially when I don't know the person that well. Here's what happens:

I get a text often a couple hours after the fact. I'll spend (probably too much) time thinking about how to respond exactly how I would in real life, which is always impossible because it's texting. Then I just avoid the situation all together and don't text back. Besides, I hate being the last person to text anyway (defense mechanism). But I often get chastised by Katie that I'm sending the wrong message or that it is interpreted by most people as being rude and indifferent.



But I promise, that is not my intention. I'm just weird that's all.

The Verdict

I'm not taking Spanish 451 anymore. My reasoning:

1. It would put me at 9 credits, which is a full load for Spring semester. And we all know my struggles with apathy...
2. I'm taking Chem 107, which is a one-credit class, but 6 hours worth of lab time. I feel like it requires more than it's worth...
3. This will be the last Spanish class I take for my minor. I kind of want to extend my courtship with Spanish so I have something besides science classes for the next two semesters.
4. I'm all done with GE's, so this is the only artsy class I have left.
5. If I ever get to Spain for a study abroad, I'll be able to take something.
6. I want to take more credits in my research lab, so that I can become more familiar with everything and feel more like a "regular" lab worker.
7. I want to have time to practice dance.
8. I want to get a solid A in my chemistry classes.
9. I need to find a job that will give me at least 20 hours a week.
10. I still want to be social in the summer.
11. I want to have time to run regularly because I've been on a roll lately.
12. The majority was a nay for my facebook status poll on the matter, so naturally I should follow that advice.
13. I don't really have money to buy all the books for the class anyway.

Well I've thoroughly convinced myself out of taking this class for now. I hope I don't regret this later.

"And I'm gonna be 40!"

I'm kind of feeling like Sally Albright in When Harry Met Sally.

And I'm thinking 9 credits plus trying to find a job may be a little much for the summer term...

Hispanic-American Literature may have to esperar. Only because Chem 107 is a beast, I hear.

Decisions...decisions...decisions.

New Page

Father's Day post coming soon.

Tomorrow I start summer term. Awesome.

Things are gonna be different.

P.S. Dear You,

Sorry I'm such a jerk. I don't know what I want.

--Tanya

Words I hate

There are certain words I really just hate to say. Actually I hate them so much that I NEVER say them. It's borderline OCD. Here's the few I can think of...

Hubby--why can't you just say husband? Or I could even settle for eternal companion or lover or domestic partner. Hubby just gives me the imagery of a fat guy in a wife-beater.

pimple/zit-- Ugh, I almost couldn't write it because I'd have to say it in my head. Bleh, I really hate those two terms. Like I've heard some people refer to goosebumps as goosepim--forget it, I'm not writing it again. But honestly, why would you even think of another way to use that word. I prefer to say "break-out" or "blemish." It's less descriptive and doesn't induce a gag reflex.

Moist--it's just a weird word. And the context can really throw things off. Especially when you're talking to Matt.

Most substitutes for anatomical terms--Just say penis or vagina. It's not that difficult, and you just sound uneducated and vulgar for saying anything else.

Tweet--this is probably why I'll never have an active Twitter account.

Jiggle/wiggle--I'm not really sure why...

Boogie-- I don't think this has been legitimately used since 1970

Pervert, perv, pervy, etc.--it just sounds like what it means

Rural--Everybody sounds ridiculous trying to say it.

That's all I can think of right now. However, I'm still an English supremist. I love most everything about the English language...except these few words.

Summer Goals

The summer is still young I feel like, so here it goes:

-Become more flexible (so I can execute that paso opening and other dance figures)
-Become a CNA--or at least take the test
-Get a ballroom tan
-Lose 10 more pounds
-Be able to run 10 miles
-Get more fit in general
-Read and understand my Spanish Literature
-Get an A in chemistry
-Master my competition routines
-Develop more balance and ankle strength

That's all for now!

Octopus

I have a wide array of defense mechanisms. Here is one that came to mind.

#1: If I get even a hint that someone doesn't like me--even if it's a friend--I will do a 180 and dart off into the sunset. Basically, I drop people before they drop me, but sometimes I do this prematurely. I'm sensing something right now, and so this habit has been kicking in lately.

I probably lose a lot of potential friends by doing this, but at least I still have my pride...right?

"Whenever I want you, all I have to do is dream..."*

*I really love this song by Cat Power

I had a dream about someone last night. It's kind of one of those I-could-never-have-you kind of people. But last night he did want me. And it felt so refreshing and safe to be in someone's arms. Then the image faded like sand running through my fingers.

And I woke up.

Too much, but never enough

I realized today that some of my clothes just disappear. Literally. I was looking at past facebook photos to see how I've changed in appearance (and maybe for a little narcissism), and I frequently thought things like, "what happened to that [insert item of clothing]?" Honestly, these things just were no more one day. I'm not even kidding. One time I flew home and I stuffed some last-minute clothes in a pillow case, and when I was unpacking, they were just gone. I don't ever remember losing any clothes or knowing I left them anywhere.

There really is a black hole out there where the usual socks, hair ties, bobby pins, etc. reside. It has recently taken interest in my wardrobe as well with no explanation.

*cue Twilight Zone music

Letters

Dear Earth,
Sorry I took three showers today. I couldn't make up my mind whether I wanted to stay in the pool or not.

Dear Blogger website,
Can you somehow block the Asian spammers from commenting on my blog? [Or to be politically correct, the racially anonymous people who write in an Asian language] Thanks.

Dear John Butler,
You are hot. Your band was on fire last night. Thank you for putting your soul on the stage and letting everyone partake. I just love everything you do. Thanks for not forgetting what music is all about.

Dear You,
That isn't the only reason I talk to you. I hope I'm not being too weird.

Dear Facebook,
We need to break up for a bit. And could you please not leave the notification number up when there are no new notifications? It sets off my OCD. Thanks.

Pilgrim

I've been evaluating where I am at, and it's just okay. I haven't felt really positive about my progress as a human being, so I decided to make some changes. They are kind of like mid-year resolutions. I realized that I am in control of my happiness, so here is what I can do about it.



Things I need to do every day to stay sane and happy:


-Pray in the morning and night and whenever necessary in between
-Read my scriptures
-Do homework or some responsibility to feel accomplished
-Abstain from my personal vices
-Some form of exercise
-Have a feeling of gratitude
-Meditate
-Help someone in some way
-Have a clean room


I don’t want this list to get too long because then I will not do all of these things. Today I am making a goal to do these things every day. I am only going to check facebook and fun websites one to two times a week and give myself a half hour increment of time. I’m going to employ my time more wisely during the week. I really want to be successful this time.