we didn't start the fire

I have seen this quote come up a fair few times on blogs, tumblrs, or pinterest (<--new love, by the way.) But you know what I say to this?

NO. Just NO.

How about: Look like a woman; Act like a woman; Think like a woman; Work like a woman--in whatever way that means to you.

Or even better and more universal: Look like yourself; Act like yourself; Think for yourself; Work with your whole self.

I think the part that irked me the most was the "Think like a man" line.

Think like a man.

What does that even mean? What does that even mean?!

My sexism detector is going off like crazy. All jokes aside though, reading this "mantra" is very troubling to me because quite frankly, this quote, behind its delicate salmon font, is internalized misogyny.

["Oh here we go, Tanya is getting all uppity..."]--I know some of you are thinking this.

It is not better to think like a man (if you are not a man). It is also not better to think like a woman (if you are not a woman). I think it is best to think like an individual.

I started to delve into my views on feminism, patriarchy, gender, etc., but I'll save it for another blog post because it could take...awhile.

Simply put, I think men and women do think differently because their brains are different. In development, the brain goes through masculinization or feminization based on the sex and the hormones to which it is exposed. (There are many disorders where this process can be disturbed, but this is what typically happens.)

Anyway, there is no right or superior way to think, contrary to what this quotation was implying. My thoughts and ideas are just as valid as a woman--and more so because I'm a person.

And I still don't know what it means to think like a man--because I'm not a man; I'll never be a man, so how can that even be a goal? Is it because they're stereotyped to be more logical? I beg to differ; anyone can use logic. Is it because they are stereotyped to be less emotional? I think emotions are the most human thing we possess. So someone please explain what it means!

I honestly don't get it.

I am capable of creativity, genius, humor, and brilliance all on my own, thanks.

And for all of the eye-rollers, I leave you with this:

"People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that distinguish me from a doormat."--Rebecca West

feminine

I hate shaving my legs. I think I've said that before.

The great thing about going to Canada is that I will be wearing multiple layers of tights/leggings/thermals every day. And do you know what that means???

I don't have to shave my legs for 18 months!!!!!!

I know you all are sufficiently grossed out now, but let me point out that society has made you that way. (And you thought you were a free thinker...) Who decided that being hairless was feminine? I would really like to go back in time and dispose of that person; however, we all know that didn't work for Katherine Heigl in that one Twilight Zone episode with baby Hitler...

I'm too lazy to start a social revolution, so I will remain being the awkward girl with hairy legs all by myself. BUT--

To all the males who may court me in the future:

If you notice that my legs are shaved frequently, know that I'm putting forth my best effort to attract you.

Para que sepan.

a question

This might sound judgmental or insensitive, but I don't mean it to be.

I know there's no wrong way to make a family, blah blah blah, but I was thinking about in vitro fertilization, and although it is a great technology, why do it?

I understand if you are a millionaire, then throwing down 10,000 bones is not really a financial stress, but many couples choose in vitro when it is a financial stress. I guess my real question is this: Why do in vitro when it is financially stressful and not 100% guaranteed when you could adopt for less and getting a kid out of it is 100% guaranteed?

gender neutral

So here is this article you should read.

If you don't want to read it, the main idea is that these two parents are raising their child without a gender. The baby does not have ambiguous genitalia in any way, but the parents are keeping it secret from other people in order to let the child decide what gender it wants to be.

Something about this seems terribly, terribly wrong.

I'm not one to call myself uber-conservative, but I feel like this parenting choice would even paint some liberals red--not that it's really political, but whatever...

It is evident that the child's parents love him/her, and they want to raise it without gender biases or stereotypes in order to foster independence. A lovely idea, but they just might end up creating gender confusion and alienate the child.

I believe gender is an essential characteristic to who we are as human beings. I'm not advocating that we live 1950's stereotypes. Many strong and favorable personality characteristics can belong to both men and women, and I don't think we should foster this extreme dichotomy between the two sexes in terms of personality and ability. But there is something to be said about knowing your gender and nurturing it into part of who you are. Not to mention, I feel like it's a bad science experiment to see if you can completely nurture a gender while ignoring nature's influence.

And won't this kid find out soon enough when he enters this thing called the world? Only time will tell...

baby got back

I know I'm bottom-heavy, okay? My roommate legitimately thought for the first 2 months when we lived together that I was part Puerto Rican until I mentioned my real heritage. (I have not one iota of hispanic blood in me. It's all white English/Swedish...so exotic.) I have had other (male) friends also remind me of this detail most likely followed up with some inappropriate insinuation. I'm not sure how to feel about it, but they are my friends, so I do not take too much offense.

However, if we are not friends, you do NOT have the right to comment about the junk in the trunk.

While I was dancing in the RB, some guy--albeit an aquaintance--told my partner to stop looking down as he followed me in a hockey stick to spiral, overturned syncopated cha-cha lock section. The guy said, "I know she has a big one, but you have to look up."

Cue nausea and discomfort and red face and confliction of internal vs. external reaction.

My poor partner is this little freshman, and was probably just looking at the ground, as many unfocused or concentrating dancers are wont to do at times. He's also not the type to laugh at those kind of "jokes." It was awkward to say the least. And not just awkward. It was humilliating, but if I were to express this, then I'm the prude who can't take a joke. Now I see how easy it is to get away with sexual harassment.

So I know this post kind of has a mixed message. I'm being light-hearted and serious at the same time. It's probably because society would tell me to lighten up, but my psyche is a bit more sensitive than that. I guess people just need to know their boundaries. All I know is that I felt uncomfortable today, and I should have said something.

Haha

I just came across this quote:

"Every living woman likes wedding crap. Even lesbians."

That's probably true deep down. But I can't speak for everyone...

You're so vain...

you probably think this blog post is about you.

And the irony is that it is....and a few others as well.

My view: Breast Implants are a crime against nature and femininty.

(The only exception: If a woman had a masectomy, it would be acceptable to return to your natural size.)

But let's face it, are these the majority of cases? Not even close.

And don't think you're fooling anyone with making them look "natural." People have tried and tried to mimic Mother Nature in a lot of ways, and they still can't do it perfectly. You're breasts look cheap and tacky--no matter how much you spent on them.

Breasts implants are atrocious for numerous reasons. You are slitting your skin open and inserting saline or silicon bags--whatever they use these days--under your once proportional breasts. Does this strike anyone as odd or unkosher? I feel like I'm pedaling a cliche, but nature does not deal in absolutes or "one size fits all"-'s. There is beauty in the details, the imperfections, the blemishes, the subtle variety, the obvious variety, and even the similarities. It's a game of chance, but everyone comes out a winner. Yes, sometimes it feels like we got the shallow end of the gene pool, but that is only because we our slaves to our society's standards. Jeffrey R. Holland said, "there is optimum health, but no optimum size." Amen. Yes, I stress health; I stress taking care of your body; I stress loving your body at any size; I stress confidence. Some women have long legs, short legs, wide hips, slender frames, small breasts, large breasts, "big bones," pear-shapes, heart-shapes, hour-glass shapes... The combinations are endless, and you know what? They are all okay! That's what nature dealt you. You have a certain aspect of control with diet and exercise, but in the end you can't change your natural curves.

Back to breast implants. Succumbing to them only proves two things: 1.)You are insecure and 2.)you've been duped by society.

Sorry. Actually I'm not sorry.

Don't let the Man control what you do. I once watched a show where a teenager was getting impants because she felt uncomfortable being such a small A-cup all her life (pobrecita). The doctor explained that this procedure would bump her up to "just a natural C-cup to feel more feminine...yadda yadda yadda." Since when was an A-cup not natural or feminine? Having breasts alone is a sign of femininity. Femininity is an inner power and confidence. I'm not really sure how it comes, but something inside you says and accepts, "I'm a woman." Femininity is biological because we have the necessary machinery to carry and give birth to offspring, emotional because we experience a flood of emotions in a completely different way than men, neurological because hormones affect our brain chemistry which changes significantly how we are "wired", social because certain female behaviors have been learned from our societies and social groups(for better and for worse), and religious perhaps because our view on the nature of God affects how we view the nature of ourselves and our gender. Femininity is not, however, material. You cannot buy things to make you feel more feminine. And yes, implants are things. A cheap plastic bag filled with a solution. That's it.

The fact that you are female comes from the fact that you have two X chromosomes. The fact that you are feminine comes from...well a lot of things that go beyond the mere phenotypes that come from these chromosomes. Femininity is a synergy of all these attributes. It combines individual personality differences with their biological capabilities. It is a confidence of being equal amongst many differences.

Is it really worth a couple thousand dollars to "make your shirts fit better?" That's probably the lamest excuse of the bunch.

Grow some ovaries. Be a woman. Be sexy/confident/cool. Love your body. Take care of it. Say no to the male-influenced prototype because it's a fallacy.

life or something like it

I know I haven't been doing the college thing for very long, but since my status is "junior" technically, I start to get excited and want to be done reallllly soon. I'm trying to figure out how things are going to work out for the next couple semesters and it's a lot tougher than I thought. Maybe I'll be here awhile. I really hope I picked the right major. I kind of have to go to grad school now, which isn't a bad thing....I just get scared I won't get in and then what? All I really want to do is work in women's health as a physician's assistant. I just think women's bodies are so amazing (no offense to the males), and I would always be happy in that career. Then come the what ifs. What if I don't get into a school? What if I can't afford it? What if I need A LOT more work hours and end up working for a couple years before getting in? Then what if I don't want to go to school anymore? I don't even want to get into the marriage dilemma because based on a statistical analysis of previous dating experiences and the fact that I'm a "radical" vegan combined with the extremely low number of males that have an open mind and can hold a stimulating conversation and other such variables--now I'm no statitician--but odds are I'm going to be a cat lady or a nun. I guess I've got options. Well maybe I should just sleep on things tonight.

Life is still beautiful.

And physics is the spawn of satan. I don't know why they allow it at BYU.