Layers

I originally wrote this in my journal, where the personal things go, but I decided to copy it over to here. So if you care to see deeper into my soul, here you go (although I still probably kept it vague enough for a blog):

This morning I had a moment of divine clarity. Thank you, God. I realized that I don’t always like people. I know we should love people, and I think I went through the motions of that for most of my life, but I was quick to judge and criticize, which is detrimental even when done internally. I came to the realization that I didn’t like people when I saw them reflecting my faults and shameful qualities back in my face; it made me want to hide in self-hate, rather than fix it, work it out, change for the better--because this all required discipline and divine help. Has every day of my life been this depressing? No. But this way of thinking has gone on too long in my life. It has impeded a lot of my growth and development into becoming someone of whom I can be proud. Today I was sitting with a group of people with whom I do not normally interact. They were of all ages and paths in life. I heard different people talking, and I was amazed at their insight and wisdom. I was amazed at their dedication and acceptance. Then I realized that I loved these people individually for the whole person each one is, even though we are all a little rough around the edges. It was a brilliant feeling--the light and peace that I was filled with once I had dispelled negativity and pessimism. I felt truly happy. I was able to experience a thread of the love God has for each of His children.

Today I comprehended the meaning of serenity, and it was beautiful.