As you may have inferred from the girly-giddy posts a month ago, the blogging hiatus, and then yesterday, I was with an extraordinary person who ended up not thinking the same about me. It started fast, I gave my heart quickly, and then I was yanked out of my dreamy existence. Time is a really funny thing that cannot always be taken at face value. A lot of time does not always mean a lot, and a little time does not always mean a little. I say this because some of you may roll your eyes at the length of this relationship. It seems short, but it was a very special and personal time for me. That's the only way I can put it.
Before this, I had never had my heart broken. I had gotten rejected, but that's different. I like someone; he doesn't feel the same way; it sucks; I move on. (Remember my phases?) I learned now that this is more of an ego bruise than anything else. Rejection made me just want to eat junk food or run or listen to music or do anything to make me feel better, but with heartbreak there is no physical thing in the world that you can think of to make you feel better. I didn't want to sleep or eat or talk or anything... I just wanted to wake up from this obvious bad dream.
And one of the worst things in the world is looking at someone who once thought the world of you and having them look at you like you were a lamp.
Well the only thing about starting so low on my birthday is that it can only go up, right?
Happy Birthday to me.
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