germaphobe-phobe

In my apartment, we have a community jar of nutella. The other day, we were all in the kitchen and I dipped my finger in the jar, and without thinking I double-dipped with the same finger. It was an honest accident.

You should have seen the look of restrained horror on my roommates' faces. One said so very passive-aggressively, "Did you just, um, double dip?" The other roommates who witnessed the crime agreed that it should just be my jar of nutella now (hey, free nutella!). They even scrawled my name across the top and put it in my room. ?????

Seriously? Seriously. I think passive-aggressiveness is so pathetic and annoying. Germaphobes need to just take a microbiology class because then they would learn that germs are everywhere. And they are not all bad. You know that philosophical debate about the tree falling in the forest and if no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? I feel that can be applied to this situation because if I had been alone, no one would have noticed anything wrong with the nutella. No one would have gotten deathly ill either.

Germaphobia is purely psychological and has little scientific merit. The reality is that my "germs" are already all over the apartment. We all touch the same door/fridge handles, use the same dishes that don't get completely sanitized when we most often have to handwash them because our dishwasher sucks; the air and water I expire rests everywhere along with my dead skin particles (aka dust), a single sneeze contains 20,000 virus droplets, etc., etc. I digress.

The fact is that germs are everywhere and your minute attempts to avoid them once in awhile rarely make the slightest impact. What about french kissing? (I like how that term hasn't been used since the 90's.) Most people, even germaphobes, are pretty down with that even though it is an extremely germ-infested frontier. Or, I made divine Oreo truffles the other day that I had to touch with my bare hands to form the balls. But I'm sure none of my roommates would have a problem eating those either. My point is that most self-proclaimed germaphobes pick and choose which germs they want based on personal gain; there really is no rhyme of reason to most of it.

Now, of course I need an exception to this rant because almost every argument needs one. Sanitation and cleanliness are good things. Of course, you should wash your hands after you go to the bathroom--except if you only pee, it's okay to skip because urine is sterile and not a big deal. JUST KIDDING. That is a joke, people. Although urine is sterile, always wash your hands. You should cough in your elbow, keep household surfaces clean, blah blah blah, the basics, you know? Do I think it's necessary or healthier to be immaculate? No, not really. Studies actually show that kids who are exposed to pets and play outside more have healthier immune systems because the best way to boost immunity is to be exposed to other pathogens--none of this Airborne, vitamin C overdosing nonsense.

Anyway, I just wish people had the basic biological knowledge to know that one double-dipping incident is not going to give them AIDS.

And because I hate passive-aggressiveness so much, when no one was home, I licked my finger and stuck it right back in their new, shiny jar of community nutella--ironic, but I had to return the favor.

:)