Vegas!

I just went to Vegas for the weekend for a dance competition. Everyone always asks how I do, and I just want to say, I'm not that good, but it's okay. I learn a lot, and I enjoy a lot. My partner and I have a long way to go. It's hard to stay constructive about the experience. Part of me is sitting on the edge of the floor desperately wishing I had ten years of previous dance training and hyperextended knees and the ability to move and spin like lightning. I develop such a hatred for what my body cannot do. I see so many people who actually have success in their dance endeavors, and I cannot help but flush green with envy. I start developing these grandiose dreams of moving to New York, getting a Russian partner, and spending all extra money on dance lessons. On the edge of the floor, nothing else seems to matter.

But a flush is all it is. Then I come back to reality. I'm grateful for what my body can do. I have ten more years to work on everything I want to. Success is individual.

I just want to live up to my ridiculous standards, that's all.