caught

I thought I was home alone, so I got out my old boombox (remember those things??) to blast some music while I showered. I used to have to use my computer, which isn't nearly as capable as producing the epic loudness as this thing can. Between the stereo and the shower, I couldn't really even hear myself singing, so of course I sang/yelled louder. What other option is there really?

My repeat shower song choice of the day? "I like you so much better when you're naked" by Ida Maria--a Norwegian rocker, so you know how they can be... Nevertheless, I thought it was a fitting song naturally, and it's just so catchy!

So here I am finally getting out of the shower singing/screaming, "I LIKE YOU SO MUCH BETTER WHEN YOU'RE--"(open the door)--"oh hi, Mom..." She was coming to put an end to my 9 minute encore because by then I was just wasting water.

Cue: Walk of Shame to my room.

But if I learned anything from high school English, the naked thing is really just a metaphor...

please come soon

I'm never good with waiting. Never. I think it's just my generation in general. This impatience gives me extreme anxiety sometimes when I stop to think about the huge decision I just made contrasted with the limbo I am in while I wait. Whenever I'm stressed out, I have really crazy and/or lucid dreams. Last night I dreamed I was going to Luxembourg and I had to leave the next day and then I kept seeing all these random people I knew and then I needed a ton of things that I couldn't find and I wasn't prepared and then--I woke up with a racing heart.

Sometimes I can be a very indecisive person, so when I actually make decisions with assertiveness (like this one), a part of me freaks out a little--like, did I just do that?? I'm not regretting my decision at all. The sane, logical, temperate side of me is very content and excited about where my life is going. I just have a small freak-out alarm in my brain that goes off unintentionally sometimes.

Here's to hoping times goes fast for the next two weeks!

disillusioned

Does anyone even stay happily married anymore? I feel like I see so many movies or hear so many stories about marriages that just...fade. Sometimes they stay together because divorce is too much of a hassle or sometimes they just call it quits.

Does anyone stay in love forever? Is that too much to hope for in the future?

esperar

It's official! All the paper work is in, and I'm just waiting for the big, white envelope.

For those of you that don't know, I'm serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. There's a bit of paper work and appointments that go into it, but that's all done, and everything is submitted.

I don't know where I'm going yet, but that information will be in the big, white envelope. I'm so excited to serve and teach people about God and His son, Jesus Christ. This knowledge has brought so much meaning and happiness in my life. I can't wait to share that with others.

Happy Saturday!

hair

Note to self: Don't assume gender of a child.

I was just an offender of the she's-so-cute-HE-oh-um-yeah... situation. There was this adorable Native American boy who had beautiful hair and a beautiful face. Oh the androgyny! I should have looked down at the power ranger shoes.

Dear Tanya,

In other cultures, boys have thick, long hair too. Why are you so ignorant?

Love,

The Politically Correct World

(To my credit, when I pointed out the child to my co-workers, both of them said, "oh that little girl?" I'm not that crazy.)

? & Tanya

So I'm watching My Best Friend's Wedding, and I just have one request for the universe.

Can I please have a British, gay friend too? Or maybe just a gay friend like Will from Will & Grace? Or maybe just a guy friend?

You know what? How about just a friend here in Bonney Lake?

Provo, I miss you.

tickle-me-pink

I'm extremely ticklish. Even the anticipation of being tickled will make me start to squirm. For some reason, boys really enjoy exploiting this weakness. However, beware that I will turn into a mega-B if you touch me when it's unsolicited. I hate touchy-feely flirters. Maybe I wasn't held enough as a child, I don't know. (But if I like you, I will probably go along with it...double standard, whatever.)

I don't really mind being ticklish one way or another until it gets me into awkward situations like today...

So I'm at the doctor's office for a physical, which includes a breast examination (a glorified fondling, if you ask me...). I'm trying to be calm and "professional" about everything, but the second the doctor starts going to town, I start giggling uncontrollably because it tickles--and I'm an awkward person. I couldn't even contain myself until it was over.

I'm sure the doctor was just thinking, "what a newb..."

I thought it was fitting

If you haven't been to dearblankpleaseblank.com, you should pay it a visit. Here's one that kind of describes my life...

Dear Heart,

Please stop getting all up in my business. Your job is to pump blood; that's it.

Sincerely, Brain.

dental skool

I think I rant about the dentist every time I go because I just hate it so. Yes, I know I need to floss more. Yes, I know my gums are receding into oblivion, which I'm starting to believe is out of my control. I swear, I brush softer and softer every time...

Anyway, so I'm laying in the chair about to get a filling. For some reason the topic between the dentist and hygienist turns to sunscreen. Here is the conversation (with my brain commentary):

Dentist: Well there's the SPF part. Do you know what that is?

Hygienist: Uhhh...

Me: [Come on, you got this...]

D: I'm sure you know.

H: Uh..doesn't it help with sun burn or something?

Me: [Sun Protection Factor, dude]

D: Yeah, well there's different numbers like 40, 50, 70.

Me: [70? Don't think that's normal...]

D: Do you know what they mean?

H: Not really

Me: [Not really??]

D: It's the time needed to reapply. Like 40, would mean every 40 minutes.

Me: [Uh, that's not remotely true. Try multiplying by 10]

H: Oh, that makes sense.

Me: [No, no it doesn't. I don't know if I want you putting that drill in my mouth now.]

Maybe it's just me, but I worry when people lack in common sense that they are lacking in other areas too... Oh well, I'm still alive.

oreo truffles

[Just imagine a really trendy/creative food photograph.]

So I made these oreo truffles dipped in chocolate. They are divine--like literally come from deity. Okay, not literally.

But seriously, if you are male, you should want to marry me based on this ability alone.

intermission

I've had a great last week in Provo. I'll probably write something longer about it later. I'm just feeling really content with where everything is going right now.

Life is good :)

"I don't care what you think unless it is about me"*

*So true, Mr. Cobain.

Sometimes I mistake politeness for sincerity, and it gets my feelings in trouble.

Why can't people just say what they mean?

Or I can just become like Cal Lightman and be an expert people reader. Then I wouldn't have to deal with this.

wrench

Sometimes you feel so good about a choice, and you think everything will fall into place, and then you check to make sure, and you find out that one choice might jeopardize the other choice. And here you were thinking you could have your cake and eat it too.

Dear Life,

Please please please work out. I'm trying to have a little faith here.

Love, Tanya

bright side

I guess the silver lining about this whole not-having-a-boyfriend-anymore thing is that I don't have to shave my legs so often.

And by "so often," I mean at all.

Summer, meet my beautiful, un-smooth legs.

stuff

So I'm pretty much packed up except for some (read: A freaking lot of) laundry and knick knacks on my desk.

Me? Packed? A whole week early?!! People, this is big for me.

The Good: I found my ear buds, so now I don't have to use my 90's headphones, and I can start running with my ipod again. Magical things happen when you clean your room, I tell you.

The Bad: I accidentally packed up all my clothes. I've been wearing a swim suit all day because I'm too lazy to dig something up out of my suitcase. This might be my wardrobe for the entire week.

love love love

The Trapeze Swinger--Iron & Wine

This is one of the greatest songs ever written. I'm serious. It's so beautiful and nostalgic and bittersweet and sincere.

Samuel Beam, you have my heart.

baggage

I leave to go home June 11th. And I may not be back to Provo for...a little while.

So I have to fit the most essential things into two suitcases, and that is difficult for a pack-rat. Hoarding is a genetic defect in my family. The D.I. better be ready for my closet purge.