Drifter mode

On a side note, I changed my blog so that only google account users can comment. Hopefully this will eliminate the Asian spam... So in case any readers wanted to come out of the woodwork and comment, that's what you'll need.

Anyway, I've been thinking about dating recently and this little thing called the "fade out" or as some friends called it, drifter mode.

Definition: Drifter mode is when you realize you made a mistake or are simply not interested in someone at all or anymore, and in result, you avoid all contact with that person to communicate this fact.

My thoughts? It's immature and cowardly. Have some gumption people!

I have been victim to the fade-out. I think a lot of people have. Some fade-outs are more abrupt than others, but they always leave you in a humiliating stupor as you find yourself standing alone realizing you did have an attachment that was cut without your knowledge. You are dumbfounded and speechless as you try to fumble with all the feelings left on your doorstep, overflowing in an old cardboard box. You reorganized your shelves too soon. Now you have to find room for all these unwanted feelings. You realize that you leaped a little too far, but hit reality on the way down. You make excuses for the silence to buffer utter confusion. The whole process in general is just so unbecoming to everyone involved.

I used to get hung up over these things, and maybe I still do in a way, but becoming okay with oneself does wonders for a person's coping skills. I don't recite stale cliches or movie quotations to get through this like, "No guy is worth your tears...blah blah blah." I understand that some people use the fade-out as an attempt to avoid confrontation. It doesn't work, but of course it would be nice if it did. Some people use it because they have a complete lack of consideration for other human beings. It is an act of egocentricity. Luckily, these people are a few and far between...hopefully. I think the fade-out drives me crazy because I love information. I crave it, but not because I'm nosy or gossipy; I just like knowing. Not knowing leaves me to my own potentially destructive imagination. I've learned that I can't have all the answers, and I can't expect people to hand me everything that I want to be comfortable.

All I can do is change myself. I try to make it a priority to be honest and upfront. I don't consider myself a huge heartbreaker or anything, but I'm sorry if I have ever been a perpetrator of the fade-out. I know how it feels, and I would hate if I have ever done it to someone else.

In the end, I'm okay. Actually better than that :) So, no hard feelings.

Moral: Honesty is the best policy, but so is forgiveness.