mediocre

I feel like I haven't given forth my best effort this semester, which has really been showing up in my test scores lately. It is really frustrating, but I can't blame anyone by myself. I really waste my time sometimes. Sometimes it's not just a waste of time, but it still affects my school work. I feel like I have been sliding downward since high school. I was really on top of things back then. I guess we all have a bad semester now and then. I'm pumped for winter though. I am so making a come back....

Well dancesport is over...for now. I really just want to get better , but I don't know how. I have been dancing around my apartment non-stop because I'm just on a high. Ballroom really is what keeps me sane--ironic because most of the time I am ignoring people dancing around my apartment thinking about certain dance moves and obsessing over every last toe point. As much as I get teared down and critiqued and corrected and told that my technique resembles a 185 student and that I look like this [insert embarrassing rendition of my dancing by brent keck] and as much as I get discouraged and as much as I cry, I absolutely cling to my dream of making the ballroom team and getting into gold bar classes and coming back to washington to teach and give back to the wonderful program of Pacific Ballroom Dance that has enhanced my life so beautifully. I cannot even express what PBDC did for me. I have a drive and a passion for something in life. I have a talent to improve upon. It gave me something I care about. It gave me a challenge to rise to. I never ever want to stop dancing. It runs through my blood to my fingertips. I am always dancing. Even when I walk to class, if you look closely, my hands twist and extend because I am performing a routine in my head and it shoots to the ends of my hands because that's all I can do without appearing too odd. I often feel so behind of the people who started dancing at age three, blah blah blah. I discovered dance so much later, and I am at a disadvantage, but I figure that I have eternity to be a better dancer, so I shouldn't get too sad.

That's all for now.