Another pet peeve

I also hate when people misuse the word "ironic." Don't think Alanis Morissette is the only one...

jungle gym

I have been going to the gym pretty frequently since I moved home and got a membership. You'd think that I would be in really great shape by now, but you'd be wrong. I'm only in great shape on the inside. You see:

Four years of cheap, lame college food x the unlimited options of Mom's grocery shopping=

I'm going to eat whatever the hell I want.

So that's how that goes. I exercise enough to keep the obesity at bay. I'll be in Canada soon, so I'll need the extra heat storage. And after that, I'll be an even poorer grad student with cheap, lame food again, so I'll enjoy this while it lasts.

So the gym...(I like how I can never stay on topic.)

It has a fair amount of diversity, but I have a certain list of:

People I Don't Trust at the Gym

Girls that wear make-up

Girls that wear their hair down

Girls that have the majority of their breasts hanging out of their sports bras. (Isn't that what sports bras are for? To lock those things down and out of sight??)

The die-hard elliptical users

The die-hard steppers

Men who grunt

Men who only work out in front of a mirror

The hot yoga snobs

This means that there are really only a few cool people at the gym. I'm one of them, of course.

one time...

There is a particular breed of boy in the world. You probably have come across him once or twice. On facebook you can recognize him as the boy who has:

--way too many shirtless pictures

-- a pseudo-modeling profile picture

-- a lot of pictures in close body contact with girls out of his league

-- an obsession with his form of transportation

or any other similar narcissistic behavior...

I went out with one of these boys once. He was a bit too handsy for my taste. (My taste= Don't touch me unless I have given you the proverbial green light. I hate touchy-feely flirters.) After I had had enough invasion of personal space for one night, I had him take me home. He took the long way because he probably thought I longed to have a few more adoring minutes with him.

Needless to say, I didn't see him again.

the INdie crowd

(haha I'm so punny)

Wearing non-prescription glasses for the sake of being an accessory?

Yeah, kind of retarded is what I thought too.

Although maybe they are just raising awareness for myopia and/or hyperopia. In which case, how noble of them!

germaphobe-phobe

In my apartment, we have a community jar of nutella. The other day, we were all in the kitchen and I dipped my finger in the jar, and without thinking I double-dipped with the same finger. It was an honest accident.

You should have seen the look of restrained horror on my roommates' faces. One said so very passive-aggressively, "Did you just, um, double dip?" The other roommates who witnessed the crime agreed that it should just be my jar of nutella now (hey, free nutella!). They even scrawled my name across the top and put it in my room. ?????

Seriously? Seriously. I think passive-aggressiveness is so pathetic and annoying. Germaphobes need to just take a microbiology class because then they would learn that germs are everywhere. And they are not all bad. You know that philosophical debate about the tree falling in the forest and if no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? I feel that can be applied to this situation because if I had been alone, no one would have noticed anything wrong with the nutella. No one would have gotten deathly ill either.

Germaphobia is purely psychological and has little scientific merit. The reality is that my "germs" are already all over the apartment. We all touch the same door/fridge handles, use the same dishes that don't get completely sanitized when we most often have to handwash them because our dishwasher sucks; the air and water I expire rests everywhere along with my dead skin particles (aka dust), a single sneeze contains 20,000 virus droplets, etc., etc. I digress.

The fact is that germs are everywhere and your minute attempts to avoid them once in awhile rarely make the slightest impact. What about french kissing? (I like how that term hasn't been used since the 90's.) Most people, even germaphobes, are pretty down with that even though it is an extremely germ-infested frontier. Or, I made divine Oreo truffles the other day that I had to touch with my bare hands to form the balls. But I'm sure none of my roommates would have a problem eating those either. My point is that most self-proclaimed germaphobes pick and choose which germs they want based on personal gain; there really is no rhyme of reason to most of it.

Now, of course I need an exception to this rant because almost every argument needs one. Sanitation and cleanliness are good things. Of course, you should wash your hands after you go to the bathroom--except if you only pee, it's okay to skip because urine is sterile and not a big deal. JUST KIDDING. That is a joke, people. Although urine is sterile, always wash your hands. You should cough in your elbow, keep household surfaces clean, blah blah blah, the basics, you know? Do I think it's necessary or healthier to be immaculate? No, not really. Studies actually show that kids who are exposed to pets and play outside more have healthier immune systems because the best way to boost immunity is to be exposed to other pathogens--none of this Airborne, vitamin C overdosing nonsense.

Anyway, I just wish people had the basic biological knowledge to know that one double-dipping incident is not going to give them AIDS.

And because I hate passive-aggressiveness so much, when no one was home, I licked my finger and stuck it right back in their new, shiny jar of community nutella--ironic, but I had to return the favor.

:)

me

So I'm not a big fan of married blogs.

I should rephrase since I have readers with married blogs. What I mean is, I hate when people start a blog only for the sake that they are married. I don't know if that conveys a different meaning...

Case in point: (or is it point in case??) I came across a blog of a girl who was recently married and who was excited that she could finally have a blog due to her personal rule that only married people should have blogs. Apparently the "single life" just wasn't that interesting to blog about.

I disagree. I blog because I have opinions, experiences, goals, questions, humor, analyzations, and oberservations to offer to the cyber world. Or these can just be for my benefit and the benefit of my biggest blog fan [mom :)], and that is enough too.

Getting married doesn't change your personality or suddenly turn a light switch on in your brain to have thoughts to share. Plus (certain) married blogs have that awkward "we." Everything is presented in we's. "We did this. We think that. We felt this way. We want things that way. We're having a baby!" (not physiologically possible...) "We're eating dinner! We're getting a new job!" I feel like married blogs become more about the things you do together--most of which doesn't have a lot of profound meaning or interest--and you sound like you have morphed into one entity. Marriage shouldn't be about homogenizing. It should be about celebrating two people with two brains and two personalities who manage to synergistically create something better with each other.

And most of the time it's only one of the partners blogging anyway, which is why using the "we" pronoun for everything seems odd since the other half rarely participates in the blogging experience.

Anyway, that's all.

p.s. (This is nothing against you Claire in case you are wondering. I think you are fabulous :))

How Bizarre

One thing I love about Provo is their abundance of frozen yogurt shops. Just when you think the economy is bad enough to support another business, up comes another froyo place with the exact same features as the others. They are all the same. Self-serve, tons of flavors, every imaginable topping, over-sized styrofoam dishes to make it impossible to exert moderation--and I love it. This frozen self-serve dessert concept was very foreign back in Bonney Lake, but it's actually the greatest thing since those ice cream man Tweety bird popsicles with the gumball nose (anyone remember those?? They also had other characters if I remember correctly...)

Anyway, there is one thing I don't understand. When I go to pay, there is a tip jar.

???

Walk me through this. I came here. I got my own dish and served myself. The only thing you did was take my money, and technically, even I swiped my own debit card. So I'm confused as for what I'm tipping you. Is it because you gave me a sample cup? Is it for standing there looking bored until I come to the register? Is it for your unconvincing cheery disposition or your honest apathetic one? Is it for the minimal job description you are already getting paid to do?

I'm just in need of some clarity on this one.

Pet Peeve #284

Spell your kid's name the normal way!

I'm all about originality and being a little unconventional with choosing a name, but if you're going to give your kid a name that is already popular/over-used, don't try to convince us that you are hip and unique because you insert/replace a few letters. All it does for the child is give him or her the blessing of having to deal with everybody misspelling his name for his whole life.

Just saying...

Maybe I think you're cute and funny

Pet peeve: People who laugh at their own jokes.

I've thought about what really makes people funny to me. The secret to a well-told joke or funny comment is the fact that you don't laugh too much about it yourself or at least delay your laughter until everyone else laughs.

General example: Sometimes people will be talking in a group, and someone makes (or attempts to make) a comment that has the potential to be funny. Three mistakes are possible to be made here. These mistakes can be made separately or in conjunction with one another. Mistake 1: They laugh too soon--meaning before anyone else. Mistake 2: They are the only one to actually laugh. Mistake 3: They keep laughing when others have moved on from the joke.

This isn't to say that you should be stone-faced when you try to say something funny because that could be equally disastrous. Basically, it's all about these little things called social cues.

Basic Formula: Say something you think is funny+wait for your crowd's response+respond to your crowd's response+calm down before everyone else= successful funny person.

Remember, sometimes you may say something that no one will find funny. Chalk it up to a tough crowd and move on with the conversation; don't make it worse by laughing at it. Real humor may not be this methodical or cut and dry, but this is a baby step to honing those skills.

I hope this helps someone, so that I will have one less pet peeve to deal with.

Cheerio!

Words I hate

There are certain words I really just hate to say. Actually I hate them so much that I NEVER say them. It's borderline OCD. Here's the few I can think of...

Hubby--why can't you just say husband? Or I could even settle for eternal companion or lover or domestic partner. Hubby just gives me the imagery of a fat guy in a wife-beater.

pimple/zit-- Ugh, I almost couldn't write it because I'd have to say it in my head. Bleh, I really hate those two terms. Like I've heard some people refer to goosebumps as goosepim--forget it, I'm not writing it again. But honestly, why would you even think of another way to use that word. I prefer to say "break-out" or "blemish." It's less descriptive and doesn't induce a gag reflex.

Moist--it's just a weird word. And the context can really throw things off. Especially when you're talking to Matt.

Most substitutes for anatomical terms--Just say penis or vagina. It's not that difficult, and you just sound uneducated and vulgar for saying anything else.

Tweet--this is probably why I'll never have an active Twitter account.

Jiggle/wiggle--I'm not really sure why...

Boogie-- I don't think this has been legitimately used since 1970

Pervert, perv, pervy, etc.--it just sounds like what it means

Rural--Everybody sounds ridiculous trying to say it.

That's all I can think of right now. However, I'm still an English supremist. I love most everything about the English language...except these few words.

Superiority

Dear People I Kind of Knew in High School,

Why do you have a bajillion pictures of yourselves posing with alcoholic beverages all over facebook? I get it; you're "so BAMF" because you're not even 21 and you have a Bud Light in your hand. Or you are 21, and this gives you validation of being an "adult." Good for you.

Your pictures are tacky. You don't seem a bit changed from high school.

Sincerely,
Tanya

social awkward...ness

It comes in many forms, but here is one out of the many things that annoyed me today.

Disclaimer: I'm sure I've had my fair share of social awkwardness as well, but I'm slowly becoming a more socially competent person, and you should be too.

Socially Awkward Pet Peeve: People who half talk to themselves and you at the same time.

You're not really having a conversation, but you're just by each other because you have to work together or some other forced situation and you might say something every now and again. But these people will say things loud enough that you know it's not exactly meant solely for them, but quiet enough that you have to constantly be like, "What?" To which they might say what they said (which will give no momentum to the conversation anyway) or they just say "oh, um, nevermind..." To which you have no choice but to say "oh..." and just find something to distract yourself from the lingering silence and the "you're really bad at this social interaction" look that so desperately wants to take residence on your face. But you refrain because that would be mean.

I'm kind of a shy person. It's just my temperment. So I know it's bad when I'm actually the outgoing one in the group/pair/etc. situation.

Silence doesn't bother me. Awkward silence bothers me. I don't think people have to talk all the time to fill the space, but I can tell when people are uncomfortable with lulls in the conversation, and then I get squirmy too. One of my favorite movie quotes goes like this: (Edited for your viewing)

Woman: Don't you hate that?
Man: What?
Woman: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about [stuff] in order to be comfortable?
Man: I don't know. That's a good question.
Woman: That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just [shut up] for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.

I have found some of these people in my life. It's refreshing.

while in the waiting while waiting for the news i hallucinated i could read your mind

Sorry the title has nothing to do with anything.

Here's the low down on my break:

I drove home with Scott and Stasia. I drove the whole way. It's interesting how you can do things when you know you have to do them (brilliant, I know.) But really, when I used to drive home with my sister, I remember that I could never drive the whole way, and I used to just make her do it. But this time wasn't that bad. The roads were thankfully snowless. To my parent's resentment I went 85-90 the whole time. Sorry mom and dad, but hey, no tickets!

I hung out with the Lears. I'm still comfortably sitting at #1 on the best babysitter ever list. It's nice being the best at something in my life. Maybe being a mom is all I'll ever be good at. Just kidding. [I even spelled it out for emphasis.]

I finally saw LAUREN--my best friend from highschool and life in general. Again, I spell out best friend because BFF or bestie or twinsie or BFFer or sugar friendsy cupcake face (a little far...) are all very shallow terms for me. It's something for giddy junior high schoolers. Lauren is not my best friend because we have the same clothing style and like Dawson's Creek. She's my best friend because we know so much about each other, that it doesn't matter how long time passes between seeing each other, it is still the same when I get back. And it's not blackmail know about each other. It's a deep, empathetic, caring knowledge about what makes her Lauren and me Tanya. When we give the updates of each others' lives, I don't have to say "how do you feel about that?" because I already know. We have seen each other in our most awkward and vulnerable times growing up, and that is something you don't just throw away because a few states separate your college towns. I love Lauren with all my heart and always want the best for her.

I went to the dentist today. I have crappy enamel, but straight teeth. My brother got the invinsible enamel and the somewhat crooked smile (all those years of thumbsucking, I tell ya...) So, I don't know which I would take because digging floss in my gums and scraping around my teeth makes me want to scream and bite the dental hygienist who is trying make small talk while I am drooling uncontrollably and she is spraying and sucking water and scraping and polishing my teeth. In case you didn't know, it takes two people to have a conversation, and their mouths must be free of all objects and body parts. Communication 101 people... you'd think that would be part of their night school courses. Okay, that was a little harsh. I completely respect dental hygienists--just not the ones who bitch me out for not flossing afterwards and treat me like I'm stupid. And one other awkward thing: I come in and sit down. The lady comes in a starts talking, and here is the conversation:

Dental hygienist: "So you're still at BYU?"
Me: "Yeah"
DH: "What's your major"
Me: "Uh, physiology" [Must we do the small talk thing?]
DH: Oh that's right, you're thinking about being a PA, right?

So, apparently they write down my hopes and dreams and life goals in my dental file.

Well, this has been a completely random conglomeration of subjects, but that's how my break is going so far.