Why, hello!

Dear Blogging World,

I'm back!  I know it is mostly just my sister and mom waiting around for this, so here you go.

I finished my time as a missionary.  Sorry for the drop off in posts.  I'm sure there will be plenty of flashbacks to share in the future.

So I've been in the real world for a week.  Sometimes I cry about it, but there are generally some good things it has to offer.

Blah blah blah.

I gained a new respect for the sadists we refer to as dentists.  I loathe the dentist.  I went to a place called Bright Now! Dental.  They always sounds so peppy and cheerful, but really they are about to make your day go from a 10 to a 5.  I needed to get a root canal (or as one of the 'merican employees said, "a 'rut' canal.  People in Alberta always used ask me if I said "ruf" instead of roof or rut instead of root.  Who even says that?  "Americans, that's who." The Canucks would say.  Well, I guess they were right.)  Apparently you need a root canal when there is an infection in the root of your tooth...or something like that.  Now, I always thought dentists were the smart kids who wanted a good job, but they chose the cushier route of the dentist office instead of the unpredictable and strenuous hospital hours of a medical doctor.   I don't blame them. Plus they don't have to deal with a lot of bodily fluids besides saliva and a bit of blood.   But as the dentist drilled into my infected root, all of the sudden the most horrific smell was released into the wild.

Bacteria really did a number on that little part of my mouth.  It literally smelled like something died in there (which something did--my tooth).  All the while, the dentist is all up in my grill (literally), nose-nose with the stench from the Black Lagoon.  I would sense it starting to waft, and then the dentist would apply something that smelled like bleach.  Then some more drilling.  Then the smell.  Then the bleach.  (Is that even safe?? I think I swallowed a couple times!)

Quite ashamed, I apologized afterward.  He said, "Oh, we get that all the time!"  Well, thumb up for the dentist who has to feel like he's in a morgue sometimes.  (The morgue actually smells better.)

At the end the dental assistant came in to match my tooth color with the porcelain crown they will make.  My teeth matched the whitest crowns they have.  All natural, thank you.  And then my ego re-inflated as I bounced out the door.  

dental skool

I think I rant about the dentist every time I go because I just hate it so. Yes, I know I need to floss more. Yes, I know my gums are receding into oblivion, which I'm starting to believe is out of my control. I swear, I brush softer and softer every time...

Anyway, so I'm laying in the chair about to get a filling. For some reason the topic between the dentist and hygienist turns to sunscreen. Here is the conversation (with my brain commentary):

Dentist: Well there's the SPF part. Do you know what that is?

Hygienist: Uhhh...

Me: [Come on, you got this...]

D: I'm sure you know.

H: Uh..doesn't it help with sun burn or something?

Me: [Sun Protection Factor, dude]

D: Yeah, well there's different numbers like 40, 50, 70.

Me: [70? Don't think that's normal...]

D: Do you know what they mean?

H: Not really

Me: [Not really??]

D: It's the time needed to reapply. Like 40, would mean every 40 minutes.

Me: [Uh, that's not remotely true. Try multiplying by 10]

H: Oh, that makes sense.

Me: [No, no it doesn't. I don't know if I want you putting that drill in my mouth now.]

Maybe it's just me, but I worry when people lack in common sense that they are lacking in other areas too... Oh well, I'm still alive.

while in the waiting while waiting for the news i hallucinated i could read your mind

Sorry the title has nothing to do with anything.

Here's the low down on my break:

I drove home with Scott and Stasia. I drove the whole way. It's interesting how you can do things when you know you have to do them (brilliant, I know.) But really, when I used to drive home with my sister, I remember that I could never drive the whole way, and I used to just make her do it. But this time wasn't that bad. The roads were thankfully snowless. To my parent's resentment I went 85-90 the whole time. Sorry mom and dad, but hey, no tickets!

I hung out with the Lears. I'm still comfortably sitting at #1 on the best babysitter ever list. It's nice being the best at something in my life. Maybe being a mom is all I'll ever be good at. Just kidding. [I even spelled it out for emphasis.]

I finally saw LAUREN--my best friend from highschool and life in general. Again, I spell out best friend because BFF or bestie or twinsie or BFFer or sugar friendsy cupcake face (a little far...) are all very shallow terms for me. It's something for giddy junior high schoolers. Lauren is not my best friend because we have the same clothing style and like Dawson's Creek. She's my best friend because we know so much about each other, that it doesn't matter how long time passes between seeing each other, it is still the same when I get back. And it's not blackmail know about each other. It's a deep, empathetic, caring knowledge about what makes her Lauren and me Tanya. When we give the updates of each others' lives, I don't have to say "how do you feel about that?" because I already know. We have seen each other in our most awkward and vulnerable times growing up, and that is something you don't just throw away because a few states separate your college towns. I love Lauren with all my heart and always want the best for her.

I went to the dentist today. I have crappy enamel, but straight teeth. My brother got the invinsible enamel and the somewhat crooked smile (all those years of thumbsucking, I tell ya...) So, I don't know which I would take because digging floss in my gums and scraping around my teeth makes me want to scream and bite the dental hygienist who is trying make small talk while I am drooling uncontrollably and she is spraying and sucking water and scraping and polishing my teeth. In case you didn't know, it takes two people to have a conversation, and their mouths must be free of all objects and body parts. Communication 101 people... you'd think that would be part of their night school courses. Okay, that was a little harsh. I completely respect dental hygienists--just not the ones who bitch me out for not flossing afterwards and treat me like I'm stupid. And one other awkward thing: I come in and sit down. The lady comes in a starts talking, and here is the conversation:

Dental hygienist: "So you're still at BYU?"
Me: "Yeah"
DH: "What's your major"
Me: "Uh, physiology" [Must we do the small talk thing?]
DH: Oh that's right, you're thinking about being a PA, right?

So, apparently they write down my hopes and dreams and life goals in my dental file.

Well, this has been a completely random conglomeration of subjects, but that's how my break is going so far.