Lo fantastico

Hardest Spanish paper of my life in T-17 hrs.

Entender

I really just want to understand Spanish literature. I feel like I'm just getting by with a shallow knowledge of the storyline or by a substandard English translation--as much as I hate that. I really want to tear it apart, analyze it, digest it, let it get under my skin, arrest a portion of my mind. This is what English literature used to be for me back in high school. I have only taken one English class at BYU, and it was Writing about Literature (ENG 314). As much as I love science, I love dually English, art, dance, and music--despite my lack of talent in them. I feel both subjects of science and the arts are equally important to all aspects of life. They both require critical thinking and creativity in the end. I took ENG 314 my freshmen year to get a break from all the science. Technical writing was the class that was suggested for my major, but I would not have been able to stand it. Sadly, I took ENG 314 during a spring term, which was an accerlerated pace (read: shortened time to get to all the things you wanted to get to), and we spent the first part of class learning how to write cover letters and resumes and things of that nature. Useful, but boring. I think the class ended too soon.

Anyway, Spanish literature is just baffling. Partly because I'm not extremely fluent, and partly because I'm still comprehending the fantastic nature of it.

Basically, I'm staying home on a Friday night, so I can think about literature. I haven't done that in a long time.

Freudian

I once had an English teacher who said you could take a sexual angle from almost any piece of literature. (Kids loved that one in high school.)

Anyway, I was sitting in my Spanish Lit class and we were discussing the autobiography of Santa Teresa de Jesus. This is the same Teresa of Bernini's The Ecstacy of St. Teresa. She accounts her experience of seeing Jesus Christ as well as other angels in a vision. Her account is very sensationalized and descriptive, and as I sat there listening to the way she described her experience, I thought, "wow, this almost has, dare I say, a sexual overtone to it." I wanted to say something, but because Spanish is my second language, I feared I would be misunderstood or be waaaaay off base since this was after all a religious subject matter.

But then my professor brought up this same observation, and the irony of such a situation.

Vindication.

"Sigmund Freud...analyze this"

"vuelve y revuelve amor mi pensamiento,

hiere y enciende el alma temerosa,

y en llanto y en ceniza me deshago."

Amen.

The Verdict

I'm not taking Spanish 451 anymore. My reasoning:

1. It would put me at 9 credits, which is a full load for Spring semester. And we all know my struggles with apathy...
2. I'm taking Chem 107, which is a one-credit class, but 6 hours worth of lab time. I feel like it requires more than it's worth...
3. This will be the last Spanish class I take for my minor. I kind of want to extend my courtship with Spanish so I have something besides science classes for the next two semesters.
4. I'm all done with GE's, so this is the only artsy class I have left.
5. If I ever get to Spain for a study abroad, I'll be able to take something.
6. I want to take more credits in my research lab, so that I can become more familiar with everything and feel more like a "regular" lab worker.
7. I want to have time to practice dance.
8. I want to get a solid A in my chemistry classes.
9. I need to find a job that will give me at least 20 hours a week.
10. I still want to be social in the summer.
11. I want to have time to run regularly because I've been on a roll lately.
12. The majority was a nay for my facebook status poll on the matter, so naturally I should follow that advice.
13. I don't really have money to buy all the books for the class anyway.

Well I've thoroughly convinced myself out of taking this class for now. I hope I don't regret this later.

Bored

This always happens. I finally get the *ganas to blog, but I want to blog all the time now. Then in about two weeks I will lose all desire. But while I am here I just want to say that I love blogging because I love writing. I don't get to do it in my major a lot, so it's very refreshing. The real reason for my stopping of blogging is because I started journaling last January. I keep up on it pretty well. I thought about just journaling and copying the entries to this blog because I write my journal in a Word document. Obviously I would take out the really deep and personal stuff, but it would give me a blueprint at least. Then I realized that blogging and journaling are completely different because the audiences are different. Maybe only a literature-enthusiast would know what I mean, but my journal entries just wouldn't fit here. My writing style differs as the setting differs. And even though this audience is vastly imaginary, it is still a variable which must be factored into this writing.

Things I must do now:
1. Read a General Conference talk
2. Start Cien Años de Soledad for Spanish
3. Make lunch

*ganas is a Spanish term loosely translated to desire. But as my favorite Spanish teacher Mrs. Nelson first taught me, there is just something more to the word that cannot be translated. You just have to know Spanish, I guess.