This doesn't happen very often

I walked home from the Testing Center after a long day at school, late at night, with a...bounce in my step?

Yes, I just took a biochem test. I was stressing all day because I kind of procrastinated yadda yadda yadda, but I still put in my time, and you know what? It wasn't that bad! I actually REALLY love biochemistry. I remember crying on the way home from o-chem tests over the summer. This semester is different for once. No more NMR and crazy synthesis pathways (even though I kind of liked synthesis...) Biochemistry is my favorite way to incorporate chemistry into life.

Gah. I'm just so excited that I'm not repeatedly failing in my chemistry endeavors anymore.

Peace out. I'm going to celebrate or something because this is a rare occasion.

(Maybe my Spanish test and Humanities quiz did not go so well...but, hey, you can't be good at everything all at once.)

Can't you hear me S.O.S?

I'm drowning in biochemistry and it's only the beginning!!!!

Somebody! Help! Please! What does this all mean???

just another thursday

Okay I'm now running out of things to blog about. It seems like whenever I blog it's when I'm frustrated about something. So I'm trying to blog about good things :)

I have a cell bio test this weekend. I don't really understand anything right now, but I know I will by Tuesday night :) This class has been really difficult for me because we read a lot of primary research on cell biology, but I absolutely love it. I love understanding something I had no clue about before. I love knowing the intricate details of what goes on in a single cell. I love understanding the beginnings of how we can possibly treat cancer based on what we know about cell division. Even though I want to work with people when I grow up, I kind of think it would be cool to work in a research lab and be the first to witness such amazing findings. Sometimes I fear that I just don't have a scientist brain--that I'm not intuitive enough or creative enough or smart enough. I feel like that in class a lot. It seems that I'm missing out on this whole pool of knowledge to which every one else seems to have access.

Even though I took and passed (barely) o-chem, I still feel nauseous when people bring it up because it is one of my failures in life, I consider. I left that class hanging by my fingertips. I didn't master the subject like I wanted to. (I actually never even returned my o-chem book because of this. I feel like it would completely close the door for that class.)
As nerdy as this sounds, I still have a desire to just sit and learn all that stuff again. I actually love the subject, I'm just terrible at it. Synthesis was my favorite thing--when I could figure it out. The only reason I feign to hate it is because I didn't do as well as I could have. And it's my own fault. Biochemistry: this will NOT happen.

I have control over my successes. That is my mantra for finals and next semester.